Theory No. 7: Would-be fans spend 97% of their disposable income on mirrored Oakleys, Jimmy Buffet paraphernalia, Valtrex and stickers of Calvin pissing on things.

White Sox fans are like the semi-visible derelicts in a Neil Gaiman book. We exist, but no one acknowledges us.

Fucking elias sports bureau here. Nice random stats you pulled up

The [1985] 49ers lost, 17-16. These [2019] snowballs didn’t affect the game, at least.

You’d be forgiven for not hearing any of the music from the routine since the commentator talked nonstop throughout the 90 second exercise.

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! How is this considered value-added? The crowd likes her? Instead of saying that 30 times in 90 seconds, JUST LET ME HEAR THE CROWD!

This video is a great argument in favor of announcers shutting the fuck up.

On pace for maiming 365 reporters this year, beating the previous record of 289 by the Saudi crown prince!

2019 sports beef is off to a tremendous start.

Thank you for reporting on this.  Not sure why we continue to lionize law enforcement when they don’t do basic things, like assisting citizens known to be in danger.

He completed his sentence and therapy. In a lot of ways, he was the ideal case for rehabilitation of a juvenile offender. Him pulling the “I was innocent all along” makes him even less sympathetic than before, of course.

Damn, some lawyer is going to make a killing off you.

Good. Fuck the NFL owners. As a season ticket owner I plan to sue the NFL owners if a work stoppage happens based on their acrimonious relationship with the players depriving me of my ability to go to games and spend $10.50 for a bud light.

Fuck Dan Snyder

In true form, he didn’t want to ruin anyone’s weekend.

I just tried to trademark “St Louis Rally Pussy” and it was denied. It was trademarked 14 years ago....

Best feral cats in baseball!

I would totally watch a road trip movie with Obama, Biden, Beltre and Andrus.

Do managers go to a special class or a special school where they learn how to exaggerate and gesticulate and move their head like that? Banister was trying to imitate Earl Weaver or Billy Martin when what he really wants is to get shitcanned so he can go down the tunnel and relax and not have to watch his team losing…