My face is already quite punchable.

What exactly do celebrities have to apologise for?

I’m with you on this. I have no idea if Kesha is lying or not, but that she gave a deposition and stated that this never happened, that she’s trying to get out of a contract, and that she has that scumbag lawyer Mark Gerragos, who would totally do something like this to win a case, is certainly enough for me to hold…

I and my microwave are like a two-cycle engine motorcycle- there is only on and off. No in between funny business.

“If you decided to kill yourself because your brain has become so addled by CTE that you can no longer function in your everyday life, would you drive your car off a cliff or shoot yourself in the chest?”

The Ravens have a new question for prospects this year.

It’s a simple question. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?

The American people sure seemed uninterested in giving him a second go-round.

After Romney lost they told themselves it was because he wasn't conservative enough. I can't wait to see this year's excuse.

I’m not going to melt down, I’m growing a beard and taking to the hills to fight!

Not personal gain so much as retribution for daddy’s failed presidency. And yes. People believe that because it’s true.

AB, these political eulogies are fan-fucking-tastic.

This this this. Posted about this in the comments of another article. There is been no trial, there has been no verdict. People need to stop using those words.

The Court is NOT on Dr. Luke’s “side.” The Judge merely applied the law to the facts. As an attorney one of the hardest things to deal with are bad facts. They are what they are and we do our best to construe them most favorably to our clients but ultimately Judges have no discretion to choose a “side” they like. It’s…

What if you discover that the goat is your true love?

#ImWithHer

The only thing dirtier than the water

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

The U.S. will send 48 rowers to Rio, they will be as forewarned and forearmed as the federation can make them

Teen Mom Jenelle has a manager? For what? What does she have to manage besides a string of ill-conceived pregnancies with an impressive lineup of losers?