Got a better one. Get to work. Volunteer. Donate your time and/or money at organizations that support the same causes you do. Run for local office. Protest peacefully. Protest not-so peacefully.

Full benefits with 20hr/wk average

I was at Penn at the same time as Melker. Donnie was indeed a sad sack of a human being who peed everywhere and assaulted everyone. He belonged to the most rape-y of rape-y fraternities and comfortably communicated with his asshat brothers in the misogynist language of his father and...he just sucked. He really did…

Some say he’s still falling today...

No, fuck you and fuck the Godforsaken city of Cleveland.

I read it and it was great. She’s shockingly intelligent and self-aware. I would rank it as better than Amy Poehler’s book and maybe tied with Amy Schumer and Tina Fey’s books.

Kids take up every fucking minute of your goddam life, and they’re an inconvenience to others, which is why Moms usually band together in packs. Spread out the misery.

The good news for childless women: people mostly lay off when you hit 40 (if you’re single, at least). I think they’re afraid I’ll blow my brains out if reminded I’m a childless spinster. So I feel no pressure AND I (mostly) get to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. (I still have to go to work and shit.)

I’ll get you out of the greys. You need to be publicly shamed.

America:

I think Thomas promised her the keys to the kingdom if she’d give him a male heir (and then reneged when it became a reality). That’s why she went through with the second pregnancy. Also, she thinks this was all a gift from Jesus, if I remember correctly.

*Stunned silence intensifies*

But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

There are about 10,000 70+-year-old Chicago native grandmas and grandpas who would happily line up to smack you in the face with their decades of season tickets for this bullshit.

i appreciate when athletes gut it out for their team. i do the same thing at work. like last week when i suffered a compound fracture to my femur as well as a serious head injury while i was trying to roller blade down the stairs. within an hour of the horrific injury i was in a team meeting coughing up blood and…

Both embody Chicago. With the Cubs you forgot suburbanites who call four square blocks of bars “the city,” but with the White Sox you forgot the virulent racism/homophobia and babyrage inferiority complex. Chicago sports fans embody a rich tapestry of shitty humans, no need to pick one in front of the other

I think a truer statement is that not all Chicagoans are White Sox fans but all White Sox fans are Chicagoans. There’s no out of town Sox fans.

Samantha Bee has been a bright spot in what has been a horror show of an election.

Did you just all lives matter me

Vigilante teen is a strong black principled teen, and we’ve all seen this movie before.