There are only 3 truths in life: The sun will always rise, the government will always screw you, and he will hit you again and again until you leave.

Unrelated, you need therapy. You think he might be cheating so you start ‘texting’ another guy? Totally fucked up. You have no business being in a relationship with…

I am 60 years old. In case it helps, I’m going to tell you what I know.

Should the texture artists and character modelers be working on the network code? I think that would be a pretty bad idea.

I feel like you missed the best one, where Poe Dameron, dashing space flyboy, pulls a mutiny on the cold and frigid new commander who’s obviously not as a good a choice as him in his own mind, and it turns out he’s the asshole, not the hero.

Uhh...maybe don’t mention “home planet” to Leia.

I hate fucking pieces of shit who throw contempt at people for making an honest error. Are you the perfect example of human perfection? He screwed up. He’s clearly sorry. Get bent.

Nova, Ido, Koyomi are Asian

I understand the reasoning here, but I’ll stick with sunglasses and a hat, thanks. Sooner or later (probably sooner), that sunscreen will mix with sweat, get in my eyes, and render me effectively blind until I can stop and clear it.

Man. I can’t even hit people with bullets.

Great, now you’ve gone and done it! Now we absolutely need a streamer singing (competently) Let the Bodies Hit the Floor while dodging bombs...

I was not expecting him to be that good

Have you tried not cheating?

I’ve given up on trying to explain that most cars aren’t inherently great or terrible winter cars to most people, but! There is one thing that I’ve found works.

Shoe/sneaker analogy. Especially for active people. Explain to them that their awesome summer tires are like [insert top of the line running shoe] - great at…

“That recipe which is endlessly changeable and adaptable because you make it yourself? It’s too sweet or to bitter. And it’s too chunky. That’s why I prefer low-quality, unadaptable, nearly inedible cranberry Jello.”

For all the folks in the comments getting angry about the Indian guy being critical of the fictional Indian character and that he should “just get over it.”

One hit wonder, the corporation.

Martial arts focuses on self discipline while streaming focuses on getting attention.

Like this is even a contest:

Dude what the hell are you talking about

Impossible I think. I was delighted to 100% the campaign.