When I was a kid you could buy fake newspaper or magazine covers with your picture at amusement parks (I assume you still can? My kids are just a bit too young to be going back to those places yet), and I was super proud of my fake Sport Magazine cover proclaiming me the new Home Run King. I was also 8.

Dag nabbit, Sarah! It’s not about the fucking decor. It’s about the fucking blatant LYING and FALSE ADVERTISING and IDIOCY with/of faking a damn magazine cover! No one is asking about whether or not the drapes match the pictures hanging on the wall! Explain the need for a FAKE MAGAZINE COVER!

I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

(unintelligible screaming)

It’s easy:

Yes. Especially when you have the new President pounding phrases like “America first,” a call back to the America First movement which pressed the U.S. not to enter into WWII and sympathized with the Nazi regime.

My late grandparents survived the Holocaust, so the fact that stories like this are still happening today is surreal if not entirely surprising. But I must admit I find the handwringing over whether or not it’s OK to punch Nazis to be kinda sickening. Dude believes that all non-whites should be removed from America in…

alternate headline:

Good. No one associated with anything traditional should be anywhere near his ass to sully themselves. Everything about this inaugeration - and this presidency, really - should have to be harder for him than it has been for previous presidents just to ram home the point that this presidency is not normal.

I think this is a great tribute. I’ve had trouble swallowing some of the excessive Carrie Fisher’s death media crap lately. It crosses the line between honoring someone and turns into graveyard navel-gazing. Before I go on, let me mention that I saw the first Star Wars 12 times. No, not on DVD, silly. Not streaming,…

My theory on Keith Richards is he has done the perfect combination of drugs to kill all deadly germs in his body while also perfectly preserving his organs.

Seriously I want to slap those rural white voters and yell at them that no, just because Trump is president doesn’t mean an unskilled high school dropout will magically get a $25 per hour factory job in the middle of cow pastures and soybean fields. Yes your benefits and food stamps will get cut some more like what…

This is modern day Nazi Germany in it’s infancy. We need to stamp it out before it gets too powerful.

I keep thinking I’m going to wake up.

The most awesome thing about this is how much damage it will do to the people who actually voted for this person.

I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is happening. That loop has been playing in my head all day.

In happier news, a woman who was born prior to women being allowed to vote just cast her ballot for Hillary Clinton. It’s pretty incredible to think all that this woman has seen in her lifetime and that she is alive today to not only vote but for the first female presidential candidate.

Trump is so utterly ignorant that he mistakes his tiny sliver of knowledge for being the entire breadth and depth of the field. This appears to be true of most subject.

Trump disparaging a former female Secretary of State?!?! I’m so shocked my cock just blew off, turned into a penis drill missle and burrowed itself deeply into my brain, killing me.