I like that you wrote, “a Roger Goodell.” Everyone at espn adds that “a” like there are 8 or 9 Roger Goodells out there, and this one does it just like the rest of them. Why not just say “Roger Goodell?”

Clearly you haven’t been paying attention.

The Seahawks aren’t long-suffering. They’ve existed for 39 years.

Hold on, I’m calling my publicist now.

Well, it IS Tuesday. Am I right?

I agree. Can you imagine the sanctimonious self-back-patting if the Cubs win? They’ll be martyrs demanding canonization. “Do you know how long we’ve been waiting? How hard it’s been?” I already hate it.

No one is making anything up as they go along. They’re just finally enforcing rules that ALREADY EXIST.

God bless you, sir.

Rest easy Chase. It isn’t like you’re going to be near second base when someone decides to ruin your knees come Monday. Oh wait. #NickChubb’sKneeLooksGreatComparedToChaseUtleys

I can hear Bomani reading saying each tweet. I love that dude.

Everyone forgets that before he drafted 32 WRs in a row and “ruined” the Lions, three NFL teams won the Super Bowl despite him being on the roster. Also, he went to Penn State so he’s probably guilty of something...

He’s got an evening radio show with Jalen Rose. He’s not going anywhere.

That’s what happens when you makes an enemy of Stephen A. Smiff.

Does anyone remember $.39 cheesburgers from McDonalds? Try ordering twenty of those at 12:30am... they’ll love you for it.

What the hell is Brendan Frasier doing here?!?!

Can we implicate AJ Pierzynski? Because fuck AJ Pierzynski.

Mark Davis is the Martin Kernston of the NFL.

He won’t be around for that.

We can measure wins and losses or dvoa. Please choose. We shit on Peyton for winning ONLY one Super Bowl and laud Flacco but there aren’t any right-clicking people who would choose Flacco’s career over Peyton’s. Luck carried a team with a shit defense to the AFC Championship and he’s not top 5 because of dvoa? My eyes…

It’s always a good thing to hand the reigns over to a guy currently doing a commercial about being a backup. New Orleans, get the paper bags ready to cut eye holes in.