You get credit for quoting one of the world’s greatest comedians, but you lose points for the misquote. It’s actually “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

Picketing. If you’re gonna quote it, do it right.

In many cases, celebrities that aren’t very hot anymore.

“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that’s extra scary to me. There’s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he’s fuzzy, get out of here!” - Mitch Hedberg

Listerine hurts. Man, when I put Listerine in my mouth, I’m fuckin’ angry. Germs do not go quietly.

“yeah, get hooked on prescription meds like the rest of america.” - Signed The DEA

“I think Pringles original intention was to produce tennis balls. But the day the rubber was supposed to arrive, a truck full of potatoes came instead. But Pringles is a laid back company. So they said, ‘F**k it. Cut ‘em up!’” - Mitch Hedberg

Man, did I need that. Friday now off to a flying start.

NOPE. DON’T REMEMBER THAT AT ALL.

Tre Mason: Man, fuck you guys. Not only am I not holding out, I was actually the first person to show up in St. Louis for training camp this year.

So while the NBA very publicly ditches Charlotte over anti-trans legislation, the WNBA players can’t do this too?

Whew. I feel much better knowing Harden won’t have to defend anything here.

Society needs to get real that blacks commit a hugely disproportionate amount of the violent crime and, for that reason partly or maybe primarily, cops interact with them more and are more fearful during the encounter.