This is more offensive than it is dumb, but only just.

I couldn’t shoot a ball out of a cannon and reach the basket from there and he makes the damn thing AFTER adjusting mid-air. The fuck?

If that one thing is shootingdribblingpassingstealing you might be right.

Last week, I had to give a short talk to everybody on my team at work. I nailed it— charming, hit key points, got three or four solid laughs. This video feels like that felt: It ultimately doesn’t amount to anything and will be quickly forgotten. But I looked really cool in front of my peers.

You know Kerry had an even worse C average.

Look at his sleeves and his hands!

Obama is so handsome. Not just by comparison, but goddammit. It’s like putting a glass of French wine next to a half empty PBR that’s mostly backwash.

For all my frothing at the mouth about his crappy suits, his ties were not something I noticed until now. HOW? My god, the TIES. lololol They’re cartoonish!

He ties his ties way too long. Sad!

He looks like he’s sneaking out of work and gonna stop by the local porn theater.

Oh my god, he looks like a flasher lurking outside a woman’s bathroom.

I’d break your window. But that’d be just cause I was jealous of your Tesla.

Tell me about it. I just want to be able to stop at the grocery store & grab some fried chicken & jello, on my way home from the ADULT store with a couple blow up dolls in the car, without having to come outside and explain to some firemen how Tinder does not work right on my phone, before my windows get smashed.

OMG. I hate those! Yes it’s a kid and no it’s not yours. Mind your own business!

Finally I can leave my kids in the back with the windows rolled up and doors locked without some snarky white knight coming and breaking my window for the fourth time.

I think one of the major reasons why you don’t see large widebodies on a lot of routes currently flown by narrowbodies that could theoretically support it in terms of passenger volume is flexibility; a 73G flight every hour of the day between, say, NYC and Chicago, gives significantly more options than a flying a 773…

• A plan to create a Tesla made entirely out of gold, like the Rolls Royce made of gold in the Goldfinger film

Freaking stupid doors. Everyone needs more sliding doors.