Upside-down Sleeping Cat is my spirit animal! I cannot resist petting mine and waking him up when he’s like that. Also, floppy paws. Who else wants to just nibble on floppy paws?

I learned how to brine chicken from Deadspin, not even kidding. It makes for the tastiest, tender, fall apart on your fork chicken boobs ever. These days I omit the vinegar, but the “brine” I do goes as follows:

I heart Heart. Not even secret shame.

If you’re thinking of going on holiday and the Arctic is fully booked, why not try Scotland?

I would argue that meatballs are #1, soccer balls #2 and Ball’s Falls are #3.

Or try:

I approve of this math.

This! And god forbid someone drops their toothbrush...

And I don’t think this kind of evasive talk is clever politicking. Drumpf has simply constructed this narrative in which ‘everybody loves him’ in line with his overwhelming narcissism. And if he tells himself and others this often enough, not only will he believe it, everyone else will too.

That is awesome and hilarious. In what town did this happen? Where is this mythical gaydarless place?

Jeez, that was the spring I graduated high school. Never went to prom (waaay to Goth for that shit) but I do remember people actually looking like that. I feel so old.

Lucky Canadian sending kitties your way.

This is the most perfect statement ever.

And always twirling, twirling toward freedom!

“I’ll be so good for women. Women love me.” “The blacks love me.”

Where does he keep his clothes?

Don’t even try to tell me these are not the same person.

I think we have the same Dad.

Yay for awesome Dads! I got one of them too, and now I feel unworthy because I didn’t write and frame a letter telling him he’s awesome, but I probably should someday.

Exactly. It kinda makes me wonder for what purpose he cooked up his daughters, but I’m afraid to go there.