House GOP: [elects Matt Williams Speaker]

Said someone 20 years ago and 20 years before that as well (so on and so forth).

Trout and Harper are very traditional Latin names.

No amount of money will fairly compensate you for the death of your spouse. So here's no amount of money. You're welcome.

“$5,000 is a silly, arbitrary amount. So instead, here’s nothing.”

My best friend’s girlfriend one offered me one of her “spare” antibiotics when I had a bad cough. Because you just take them as needed, you see.

And he’d be the first one to warn us not to skip your antibiotics intake. If it’s supposed to be once a day for 7 days, then take it once a day for 7 days.

For some reason I read “Robotech” and then sadness set in.

*There’s a lot to like about Atwell.

There’s a lot to like about Atwell’s face

He should have spent more time on the elliptical.

What about being a lazy asshole?

1. Scientology

They haven’t killed anyone yet, but you know it’s just a matter of time......

Curt Schilling shared an article by Lee Judge

Things I am as equally surprised about as Larry Brown being implicated in a scandal:

“What a shame,” says Mike Krzyzewski as he feasts on the innards of a virgin redhead and applies shoe polish to his hair.

Thanks for this awesome article Tyler.

What you have to do is kill Oryx on hard mode, which unlocks the hidden 11th chest in the Vault of Glass. Use the item from the chest to kill Crota solo (normal mode obviously) on a Thursday. Take the exotic item from killing Crota to the Speaker so he can evaluate it. This must be done on Sunday. Take the item to Xur…