To me, you haven’t batted around until you’ve fucked up my scorecard. Ten.

Loomis Simmons. Nuff Said.

“Homophobia, vandalism, racism, all on a Sunday”

Completely inappropriate and unprofessional

Can Tebow win on Chopped? Can he rock that polo shirt?

“Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am!? Do you have a minute to discuss ethics in gaming journalism?” MA’AM?!?”

First Cloney, outfitted in a fedora and overcoat, physically tried to stop Switzer, but she avoided his clutches.

Our Berman, who art in Bristol, hollow be thy fame.

For our sake he was crucified under Belichick and Ryan; he suffered, died, and was buried. And on the third offseason, he rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures. He ascended into Philadelphia and is seated at the right hand of Kelly, the head coach. He will play again in glory, to judge the players and ESPN, and…

The speed of this take from PFTCommenter is brilliant.

“That means that I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking roll!”

[picks up phone; cancels all Monday guests]—

When it comes to dealing with the world’s assholes and atrocities, I live by the words of Mr. Fred Rogers.

Why would you let your child be this cruel and turn down this poor child’s party? WHY ARE PEOPLE BAGS OF DICKS!?

Very cool. 2 thoughts: 1.Fascinating to watch his haptic memory. 2. Makes me grateful for the internet where a generous man I’ll never meet in a place I’ve never been brings me along in something I’ve always wanted to do.

That last line....

You mean, in the same way Han Solo always has been just Harrison Ford in a leather jacket?

So surreal to see something you thought you’d never see in your lifetime.

Not gonna lie, seeing Han and Chewy again made me a little misty eyed. Don’t you screw this up JJ!

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!