I think someone stayed up very late, drank a few too many cups of coffee, and then had the type of brilliant thought process known to people who pull all nighters and said,” I KNOW! I’LL WRITE LIKE I’M BACK IN A CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOP WITH THAT HOT TEACHER WHO HAD A VANITY NOVEL PUBLISHED THAT ONE TIME!”

So you guys are trolling your own site now?

This is some bomb-ass kinja.

That was gross.

<sigh> It’s the receipt for docking fees at a yacht club. A “berth certificate.”

Romney 2016? I think the only precedent is like, Bobby Kennedy getting assassinated. The RNC would have to appoint someone, I think.

I think the long, long, long honeymoon Trump has had with the press may finally be coming to an end. I don’t know why they thought this would turn out to be any different from Trump University, but here we are.

Please tell me this was a poor attempt at sarcasm.

I give credit to Berlusconi for giving his parties such an outstanding, onomatopoeic name - “bunga bunga” clearly being the actual sound of old men’s flesh rubbing up against nubile prostitutes.

So leering shots of nearly naked women cavorting while dirty old men watch? (men depicted fully/mostly clothed of course) Combined with a few mild lines tut-tuting corruption so they can pretend they’re criticizing corruption rather than partaking of sexism? Maybe they can get Woody Allen to direct.

His paintings like his presidency disturbing and amateurish.

...do you mean the asshole Bernie supporters that are currently clogging up my feed/life? Because no, they don’t need a raise, most of them are very well compensated.

Gore won the popular vote, homie.

Here’s my message to Bernie supporters, the precious snowflake Millennials:

They need sunglasses from their own blinding whiteness.

I swear to God these Bernie Idiots are like fucking Nazis! Seriously they are exactly like the Hitler Youth. Let’s see, shall we?

I have a tattoo which may or may not read, “No regrets in life” in Chinese characters. Frankly, it could read, “Beef with broccoli” or “I drink my bathwater,” but I figure the chances of a Chinese man finding himself in a position to read it are slim to none.

Ah, Ted. You cannot help but lie. “The best team ever put together in politics,” would not have lost and certainly not so humiliatingly badly to a talking rotted cantaloupe slice with cat hair glued to the top.

I think it’s awesome that she’s an open supporter of a liberal candidate and uses her position to talk about him. However, her “voting with my vagina” comment was iffy, and I think a comment about voting for Hillary because of her wealth would have been better/more accurate.