I have a tattoo which may or may not read, “No regrets in life” in Chinese characters. Frankly, it could read, “Beef with broccoli” or “I drink my bathwater,” but I figure the chances of a Chinese man finding himself in a position to read it are slim to none.

Ah, Ted. You cannot help but lie. “The best team ever put together in politics,” would not have lost and certainly not so humiliatingly badly to a talking rotted cantaloupe slice with cat hair glued to the top.

I think it’s awesome that she’s an open supporter of a liberal candidate and uses her position to talk about him. However, her “voting with my vagina” comment was iffy, and I think a comment about voting for Hillary because of her wealth would have been better/more accurate.

Well, it’s part of being an attorney. She didn’t want the case, but she wanted to help someone out. Once she got in and accepted, then, she’s on the hook, whether she likes it or not. This is a part of our justice system. I’m not sure why you don’t understand this, but it really is.

The IOC and “clearly insane” have more or less been synonymous terms for quite some time now.

Kind of like someone who goes to a Trump rally and brings a friend?

A good general principle for ladies to follow is that more cleavage is better, or simply: M-CIB. For instance, this is why so many people enjoy the beach and it is also why people enjoy watching swimsuit competitions and red-carpet events like The Oscars. Also, Miss America brought to you by our president until 2024,…

Fuck, I love Amanda Peet.

WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS SHIT

:I

There’s not enough wall-punching gifs in the universe for America’s gun/domestic combo violence.

How is a man who groomed and raped his 7-year-old daughter (and then acted like he did nothing wrong and dragged her name through the mud) only semi-stinky in your world? Are you smoking crack?

Kinda pissed that this ad is making me side with Paul Ryan. I can feel myself dying inside.

I get it.

You say tomayto, I say tomahto.

In Soviet Russia, joke laughs at you!

Boom away!

Nothing. I was talking to your mother

What’d you call me?

Huma Abedin.

“Culture Editor” has never been a more bitterly ironic title than at this exact moment.