MLS operates in North America. North American sports have zero history with promotion/relegation. Outside of a few die-hard Euro-league fans, most have never even heard of it. Selling American or Canadian fans on the idea that their team could be “demoted to the minors” is a mighty tall order. Soccer has enough…

Nice to see some MLS coverage on Deadspin that isn’t dripping with the kind of condescending,“we hate our own domestic league, American soccer, and ourselves” self-loathing I’ve come to associate with this site. More please!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnd Jesus wept.

I think they’re trolling he Cubs. Deliciously. Go Sox!

It’s nice to the see the Fire actually trying to do SOMETHING with the quality of play on the pitch, other than Hauptmann’s years-long policy of “let is fester.” I D K if Schweinsteiger will change the quality of the team greatly, but at least is shows us that the front office is alive and trying to do something,…

I agree that this chant sucks balls, but let’s be honest. If Deadspin weren’t dogging on MLS for trying to copy European soccer conventions, Deadspin would be dogging MLS for not being European ENOUGH. (Pro/Rel debate anyone?) If they called teams with American names, it wouldn’t be real enough, and when they use Euro…

Ha ha only the Eurosnobs around Deadspin are surprised and agitated by this. Wait a minute, German soccer was pre-empted somewhere in America, because not enough people gave a shit!?!? Knock me over with a god-damned feather.

This is yuge news. The yugest. Thank you Billy, for sharing. I can now go on with my day, knowing Arsenal beat whoever the fuck it is.

This fucking team would find a way to lose a perfect game. our doofus manager would gaze at the cameras once again, with that dumb look on his face, and agree that “yeah we need to be better” or something. Time to clean house. Sale and Quintana should be shipped off to teams where they could actually CONTEND and we…

This comment was for the win, something the Sox are rarely able to say. When fellow Chicagoans ask me if I’m Cubs or Sox, I’m lately chagrined. We are going the route of the Bears, a hopeless basket case of a team, whose only positive memories are nostalgia for that “One Big Year.” Remember 2005? Pretty soon most of…

Oh my effing God, why do I love this team? I never loved “U.S. Cellular” and usually shortened it to “the Cell,” but it like they tried to find the a rung even LOWER on the naming pole than U.S. Cellular, and found the deepest possible. What’s next in 2029 - Ex-Lax Stadium?

You know Haisley isn’t such a bad writer when he has something to do besides wax poetic about how much he hates MLS and American soccer generally. Yes, I was pulling for Portugal, not because of Ronaldo, but because of their massive underdog status, and because my wife’s Brazilian family and I speak the language.

Thank you for this. I stopped watching South Park when they couldn’t stop “kicking down” and made casual use of the word, and a whole lot of fun at the expense of those with disabilites.

Ha ha only this guy could get on Messi’s jock for trouncing the USMNT. I just wwwuuuuvvved the way you beat us badly! This is the crazy type of “fan” that our nation’s weird pre-occupation with soccer played elsewhere gets us. Thanking a guy for beating us. Oh man.

Must be a day ending in ‘y.’ Here we go again. Haisley taking a dump on the American top flight, with that gratingly self-righteous tone.

They were both close. They were both penalties. You gonna complain about the WAY in which they won 4-0? Please.

Haisley is always sure that the winners didn’t quite deserve it, maybe. He had the exact same god-damned spin on Leicester’s victory in the Premier League.

“Smith down the wing, crosses to Jones, he heads it in, MLS SUUUUUUXXXX!”

Ha ha ha well you gotta start somewhere. / #MLSFansBeLike

Weird. A mention of MLS on Screamer without gratingly self-important bloviating about how every single damned thing about the league, its players, its fans, its teams, and any and all affiliated suck and are complete shit. I think I’m on the wrong website.