There’s an option--bear with me--to not post about this at all.

Why the snark? The guy just hoverboarded 22 miles

Why whine about this? “It’s also kind of shitty that this sizable change to the sport was made in the middle of a season, and uses players who aren’t even at the highest level of the sport as guinea pigs—especially the catchers, who suddenly have to improve on an athletic skillset that will only really be needed in…

Wayne Williams didn’t kill a bunch of people. Odd inclusion on that list. Yes I am the Murder Relativist. 

I’m not entirely sure why I dislike you but I truly do.

Oh wow this is going to flame out spectacularly. Gruden is overmatched and consumed by his own ego. Brown will be complaining about Carr by game six. Carr maybe doesn’t last the season, certainly not back next year. This is a dumpster blaze. 

Why even give them a blink?

Didn’t Jezebel just crap on these two getting engaged and Pratt’s religiosity just yesterday?

So, all the “good reasons” boil down to being lazy? Got it!

Good lord Moore has been a self-promoting clown getting rich off rubes for 25 years. This looks exactly like the same manipulative crap he’s been lining his pockets with his entire career. 

Well, no. Look into law enforcement and get back to us.

The heroes in all of Jalopnik’s Uber stories are law enforcement, the FBI, and corrupt cab monopolies that provide appalling service while screwing drivers and consumers. Cab services in most cities are worth literally less than shit. Uber fucks up a lot and I hope they keep purging their loser executive leaders, but…

No, it’s yet another awful embarrassment for CNN. Taking ridiculous bait like this just drags CNN’s already broken brand further into the mud. This is sanctimonious nonsense and a win for Trump by getting them engaged.

No. The kid asked a rambling, confusing non-question alluding to unspecified online rumors (and they were at that point) about Louis CK. Stewart’s response seemed entirely reasonable.

I thought the original Gawker blind item was an irresponsible load of shit. Turns out I was wrong, but the way it was “reported” seems like hot garbage to me. Unsourced blind items don’t exactly inspire confidence in the veracity of the fourth estate.

Mother Teresa was an awful human being.

No it isn’t. Obama accelerated drone strikes, including targeting and killing U.S. citizens abroad. Didn’t close Gitmo. Signed off on disastrous military aggression in Libya. And Syria. And Iraq. Obama’s foreign policy was totally an extension of Bush’s foreign policy.

The last sentence in this post is the only necessary one: “The only way to be sure if that “no haggle” price is a good one is to shop around and compare.”

Again. Uber makes it impossible not to know your surge charge, and you have to explicitly agree.

Headline has two extra unnecessary words.