Don’t underestimate a Baptist’s ability to cover shit up

I saw Hakim Warrick play when he was with the Suns.  I still don’t understand why he wasn’t able to make it in the league.

Two words...Big Country

[If I had sex yesterday at 3:00, and then again at 9:00. that’s 3/9 = 1/3. If I do that again two more times, that’s 1/3 x 3 = 1.  I can totally have another kid in March!]

That’s clearly Butch Jones disguised as a basketball coach.

So far the only thing that’s proven to deter teams is the player not being good anymore. I think any policy by the NFL that restricts opportunity for past bad acts is not capable of being administered by this league, and invites an inevitable bad faith application of it by the owners. What’s the solution? I sure…

Well that sounds like a horrible and unmanageable idea, or a good idea if you’re looking for a way to exacerbate the problem.

Don’t forget, he’ll also have veterans LaDanian Tomlinson and Curtis Martin on the roster to help guide him.  With him on offense and Khalil Mack on D, 2019 is looking up for the Mets!

Either it’s really cold there, or this guy had his testes implanted in his cheeks.

But sometimes it reaches the point where you shouldn’t ignore the urge to shit any longer, or there will just be a bigger mess to clean.

It’s easy to claim something “under penalty of perjury” when there is no way you can commit perjury. Watch...

There is also another bullying epidemic going on with lemon and lime. Lemon in your tea, lime in your beer, lemon in your fish, lemon in your pasta, lemon on your steak. Oh, you don’t want me to cook this already tasty dish with lemon? You say you won’t eat it?  Fuck you.  I’ll lie about it and tell you it’s not…

7’1” will always be freakishly tall to me.

Before March Madness starts, just a word of warning to the unsuspecting major conference schools out there who think their fans are loud...UCF fans fucking travel, there are more of them, they are louder than you, their chants are more cohesive, and what’s worse, they really aren’t even obnoxious (other than their…

Why leave it out?  He’s not on a word limit.  Or should he have left it out to spare your wittle feelings?

So it sounds like Cognizant’s solution to this will be to give everyone a Fitbit.

He might have brain damage now, but he’s always suffered from a debilitating case of the insufferable asshole.

No way Claus can be on that ticket with the whole elf fetish thing being so public.  I like HamNo/Unicorn 2020 though.

and another who said she went into rages about typos in tweets.