I have no problem believing that all of these people exist and all of these things happened. Douchebag boys date douchebag girls, make douchebag shoes, tell douchebag stories. Douchebag Art. I like it. It reminds me of the reality I'm NOT missing behind the fairytales in pop music videos.

Do you like having dreads? They seem like they'd take forever to wash.

Alias 2.0: Michael Vartan is the President

I see. So when a woman expresses her sexuality through an authentic inner journey of desire an it just haaaaappens to be in front of someone's camera then that is fine. Yay for real female sexuality! But when a woman decides to capitalize on her sexuality and make $$$$ then she's a whore. Boo for fake female…

"Researchers continue to fail at finding any real negative side effects to smoking pot"

Has anyone seen my copy of the Protocols?

I have a friend that I'm certain would panic if she ever received the text "Fine." from me.

Anything the speaker adds to communication that the receiver can tell has been added intentionally and unusually but for which no explanation is given is, by definition, an unexpected exertion of power without overt declaration of intention to assure its nonthreatening intention, i.e. passive aggression.

Edited to add:…

But seriously, Katy Perry, that performance was so racist that you could use it to teach a course on how racism is institutionalized in American show business. One of the more shocking things about her performance was how cohesively racist it was. Makeup, wardrobe, set, choreography, semantics, all meld together for a…

Even the choreography was racist.
Okay now everyone bow right on "Unconditionally"
And now the two dancers on aerial silks fly up and do that asian leap position you see on all the posters.
Okay lift your knee in that weird asian flexed foot way, and then shuffle shuffle shuffle like you're running to an american…

That butterfly is fucking with those penguins.

okay

okay

ur a bad actress. With a stupid face.

If I remember correctly...

Websters is wrong then.

I hate this song.

You're not really any sort of Lord of Snark apparently.

That's called a Chumash.