The "carpet" is neither a "car" nor a "...pet".

If he is being "unfairly tortured", is there a torture that is "fair" and can we start doing it to Andy here?

Give that chinstrap beard wearing dickbag a Wii.

Drunkish Mariah Carey is redundant.

11. SAX SOLOS

I've heard that shot called a cement mixer.

And then she went and shut down a wing of the VA because "there had been enough PTSD".

Great, now it's going to ask me to join Google + everytime I try to change the temperature.

CON SABOR!

If she clutched those pearls any tighter they'd turn into diamonds.

Did he also kill an Esquilax?

How do you have a favorite Ommegang beer? That's like admitting you have a favorite child.

This gif is the pinnacle of human existence and now I am going to have a Three Philosophers.

IT'S EDUCATIONAL!

The nocebo-blocking drug segment sounded like a Mamet film. I thought a stick figure Ricky Jay was gong to show up.

Is it that hard to make brownies?

¡YO SOY LOCOS POR LOS CORNBALLS!

What if I haven't passed the bar, but I know a little bit?

Can I tell the cops "I ain't steppin out of shit. All my papers legit"?

Jeremy's Iron