They should start a detective agency!

I don't think that's a crack pipe, that looks like a soft pack of Marlboro lights. which is not grounds for termination of custody rights. Exposure to the Toronto Maple Leafs however...

Where's the part about not being racist?

Can we start calling her "Fat-Shaming Mom" instead of "Fit Mom"? She has gained her notoriety more from fat shaming than from her fitness.

These are not Good Times.

Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger.

This meal looked pretty good up until the last part.

Things looked great up until that last part.

Ribbed for her pleasure.

If I don't have any "coolie couture" can I just show up in blackface?

God shot first!

You typed these 28 words when you could have used "Your favorite band sucks." or "Cool story, bro!"
Brevity is the soul of wit.

Morasshole.
I just made up a word!

This is correct, except she says " You're terminated, fucker!"

To paraphrase Chris Rock, Sarah Palin didn't go batshit insane, Sarah Palin went Sara Palin.

Parker had pulled another boy off her, saying they had gone too far.

"They know this situation is not going to go away but they are pretty much in shock."

SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK

Maybe we're just better in bed.