I can’t tell the different between Jenners, except I do know which one is Caitlyn. Other than that, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Clip art? I see your clip art and raise you an animated GIF in the signature file.

Oh god I once worked with someone who not only had clip art in his/her signature, but like actual animations/gifs. Think like a butterfly flapping its wings. I am not making this up.

How about quotes from the bible? And a Christmas include those precious moments pictures of a nativity and include Jesus is the Reason?

Or the people who put all sorts of graphics in their email signature, like their company logo and a bunch of social media icons... which all come across in some clients as attachments. “Oh wow, what did I get with six attachments?...oh a tiny LinkedIn logo, thanks”

Oh yeah. And the colored, calligraphic signature that’s so stylized you can’t actually decipher their contact information unless you copy/paste it to another document.

Or how about when they use both a colored background *and* colored text that work together to make half of the message illegible? *That’s* Fortune 500 level communication!

This isn’t even the worst thing.

What we need is a Constitutional amendment saying no law can be longer than the Constitution itself. If under 5,000 words could launch a nation and sustain it for over two centuries, that’s probably a lesson to be learned.

Listen, when you’re a parent it is your job to be as embarrassing to your kid as humanly possible. That’s just science.

Staff the entire emergency room with black doctors and nurses, then if some asshole demands he get a white doctor, they can go ahead and die.

For quoting MLK a lot in their anguished letters, I think some of those Seattle parents forgot this passage from the Birmingham County Jail letter-- replace moderate with liberal, because that’s just the shifting goalposts since the Reagan Years:

As with most of the best things in life (education, medical care, not getting shot), the simplest way is to just not be American.

Of course I can still travel to Cuba, I’m Canadian.

“What are you favorite uses for leftover roasted chicken? “ - leftover chicken, pork and steak transcend into enchiladas. If there’s not enough to roll up a pan of them, I like to shred the meat, toss into a skillet with some salsa, jalapenos, onions, etc. and make a base for tacos. 

I always smoke chicken and always use dark meat or fatty cuts

Well, it’s well understood that black lesbians can also kill people by shooting lasers from their eyes as well. They have many weapons at their disposal and you can expect Trump, Jr. to definitively state what one was used in this particular case.

You know what I hate? When someone’s like “hey I picked up some brats to grill,” and you’re all excited because you know that that they know that you’re gonna break out the aluminum and braise them in beer and kraut, and then grill them. You see, you’re a good cook, and when it’s grilling time, everyone kind of just…