The idea that the thicker top bun is the solution to seepage is a pretty crumbly hill to stand on. I feel like a lot of crowns are darn delicate and much more prone to splitting.

Be Best, Bev.

I’m willing to bet it a.) wasn’t in that waiter’s section, b.) was under a vent or speaker and/or c.) was a hard walk to the bathroom (around other tables). 

If by glass you mean open mouth? Sure.

To share with my very good friends, My Butt and My Elbow.

Say it with me: EVERYTHING is tacky.

Honestly, I love the slippery slope of this line of logic. C’mon, guys. Keep going!

The 12 taco packs, yes. I think what’s new is that they’re offering burritos in some of them.

Like a lot of food things, I feel like a de-veined shrimp just gives me a good feeling that care and attention has been put into what I’m eating. The grittiness definitely bugs me, but it’s more like, oh, you just didn’t give enough of a hoot to bother?

It could be just my imagination, but every piece of moldy bread I’ve ever eaten (because, c’mon, we all do it) has a little bit of an off-taste, which to me is a bit like how nail polish smells. Is that just stale bread, or is that the delicious notes of death and pox?

BUT MUH LIKES! How-ever will I pretend I’m internet-famous if I don’t ruin someone else’s life just to get a few shares?

And like, $60 richer. Crime absolutely DOES pay.

I know why they didn’t do it, but I’d want a curly fry and a Horsey Sauce packet.

With the fresh beef, especially so.

Making bourbon outside of Kentucky is a lot of work and expensive, but y’all keep doin’ it.

He spoke to The Takeout and told me the chicken’s texture “wasn’t much different from raw tuna”

Much-hated hot take: the “remarkably similar” cookies are 1000% better than the Girl Scout branded cookies. In that they taste nothing like cardboard.

Imagine, with me, that you’re the person on the other end of this call. “Can we get a police in here—there’s somebody dying.”

I’m so glad. It was a little too soon for me to watch. Maybe in a couple weeks I’ll be ready.

This. I feel like it’s fine if you’re dining alone or with a partner, but each question is probably exponentially more annoying to your dining compatriots. In group settings, I personally tend to just avoid ordering dishes where the fate of my enjoyment hinges on one ingredient.