here's my sex spreadsheet

6 years for me, I find his accomplishment equal to a child drawing a finger paint family portrait.

Yes, that's nice I'll put it on the fridge next to my perfect forgery of the Mona Lisa .

If I knew you could raise money this way I could have funded the cure for cancer ....

I'm a little past a year at this point, which is in no way the longest I've gone without sex... I think since I became sexually active my longest dry spell is around 4 years. And I'm a big, big fan of sex, so it's not like I don't want it... I just won't have it with people I'm not super into. (I've tried casual…

Three whole months without masturbating?!?!? Jeez, I'll be lucky if I make it through writing this com

Meh - I was celibate for 4 years. Needed to work through some stuff of my own. I know some people would say they'd just DIE if they didn't have sex regularly, but it is something that you get used to.

I just realized it'll be a year in August since I last had sex. I'm so good at this I didn't even have to try.

What's so fucking hard about not fucking? I call it high school.

A year, what a lightweight.

Yeah, guys - it was just a joke!

I just don't understand why he immediately went there because he thought someone was making fun of him. That's honestly terrifying.

I feel like you should have your adult card (seeing rated R movies, buying alcohol, voting, that sort of thing) revoked when you say things like, "My daddy knows some pretty important people."

"I'm Shmacked" sounds like something the Rich Dicks from Kroll Show would say.

Nice try, Blake.

Oh GAWD, I wanna be the intern who wrote that!!!

"the precious exposure of your husband's cheeks after a clean shave"

— what lunacy is this?

From one of the first stories:

What's confusing? She's for feminism for Christian women like herself, not for those slut-bags who want to sleep with her man, get pregnant and than abort the baby when all she's trying to do is make a nice comfortable home that her bf can enjoy- not like that skanky bitch Selene from Kappa who's always in those…

I got the perfect accessory to this article!