When I was a teenager in the ‘80s, my doctor said that if it were up to him, he’d put birth control in the drinking-water for young women. While this struck me as really creepily Stepford Daddy control-freaky at the time, I eventually came to appreciate the sentiment. Because now I agree. ^^

Nordstrom sells mismatched pairs!

“Dear Diary, Today I saw a boy” 🎶

How would one insert their own IUD?

I am UTTERLY SHOCKED.

Procreation should never be accidental.

:(

“My, my, Wesley, doesn’t that lass have quite a lot of confidence? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more?”

Same. It’s only about a quarter-size difference, if that, so it’s only noticeable in certain brands. But in those few where I do feel it, it’d sure be nice to be able to go up a half-size for one foot!

So. So ugly. I mean so ugly and tacky even Peggy Bundy wouldn’t wear these orthopedic homemade looking bedazzled looking mess in the retirement home.

I still can’t see drop-crotch pants as anything other than, basically, poopypants.

What kind of monster touches anything of Barbra Streisand’s without permission? KNOW YOUR PLACE, PLEBS.

Or, you could just, you know...

NO. NO SKINNY HIGH WAIST JEANS. Please, won’t someone think of the big-butted?

They’re like kids’ shoes made large. Do the heels light up?

One of the worst things I’ve ever seen

No.

Repeat after me, everyone: Friends don’t let friends wear flatforms.

Hmm.