If my mother didn't have an abortion, I wouldn't exist.

This is why I don't have a boyfriend, Granny Yarn - looking for a man, not a boy. Very difficult as I am surrounded by a sea of ambition-less boys who expect me to be their mama and pick up after their messes and take care of them because I have ovaries instead of balls. No. I am not going to deal with that and then…

Ok, I forgive you for the other story that shall not be named. This is a nice palate cleanser. Plus it reminds me of this:

No one saw it coming? How did no one notice he was developing the kind of psychopathy that would lead to him KILLING HIS MOTHER and SEXUALLY ASSAULTING HER CORPSE? There had to be some alarm bells somewhere.

Wouldn't keeping open wounds and have real blood dripping be a health and safety liability?

When my Dad shaved his beard when I was six or seven, I nearly had a meltdown. Dude didn't look like my dad. At least he kept his mustache. I definitely would have cried at having seen a bare upper lip.

Lordy lord - that would put me off cafeteria food forever *shudders*