That was awful.

It’s hard to stick the landing on the key step of “getting Natalie Dormer to notice you”.

Natalie Dormer doesn’t get enough credit for how charmingly she played that fake-romance with the creepy age gap.

Nailed right in.

Crucified by the critics! Dohohoho!

Still less cliche than Batman’s parents getting shot again.

Between playing a Middle Easterner in this film, and a native in “Pan,” Rooney Mara really needs to fire her agent.  

LMFAO! Afterwards, half of them went to a motel where they snorted an eightball of coke and Xans off their mistresses and got spanked by an underage midget.

Depends. I don’t know the details of Uber/Lyft’s arrangements with drivers. If the drivers are responsible for fuel, insurance, maintenance, et cetera on their cars, that is going to generate a lot of overhead. They won’t really net $28/hr.

continued success to these fellows! 

“This time he’s mad.”

You will be pleased to know that he is working on the sequel to Passion of the Christ, Passion of the Christ: Resurrection. I’m not kidding.

“Well, gosh golly, hello there, Mr. Cheney! Fancy meeting you here.”

A modern-day sequel would absolutely have Forrest visiting the consulate in Benghazi.

“Before he died, Lieutenant Dan told me that he wasn’t sad that he lost his legs no more. He was sad that he was never able to fly. I thought that sounded pretty nice, so I signed up for flight school.”

[Gump leaves NYC tour bus]

“So then, it’s a few years later, and Forrest has to move to get his AIDS kid closer to treatment at this clinic in the Rockies. He gets a job as a substitute teacher for the local school district, and guess what?

Gump Fiction

Gump Happens: