+1 Barstool engagement click

I love how this is basically completely opposite from the narrative you tried to shove into everyone’s reading spheres for the last month.

Jeopardy should be a cabinet department, IMO

I’m glad he included the crying laughing emoji so we know he’s not mad and actually laughing. Would hate to think this really bothered him!

No wonder he came in third.

Sajak is more plastic now than man, malleable and evil.

I did a double take when I saw he was 78. SEVENTY FUCKING EIGHT! I could have sworn he’s been in his late 50's for as long as he’s been on TV. 

To me, the best repetitive storyline is “last year’s QB draft class was better than this year’s draft class”. Because it’s trotted out every year, to the point that if you compile the quotes year by year, it just looks absurd:

Why couldn’t it have been Pat Sajak?

You are there to answer some damn questions.

Updating was literally 23 seconds. Needed to relaunch, but all open tabs were restored.

Deleting Twitter and only reading sports sections was the best thing I could do for my sanity. It’s the same fucking thing every year, and every year football and draft Twitter fall for the same schtick.

because wearing another man’s skin is the greatest thrill of all

It’s funny how college students get punished over the most minor shit all the time, but when it comes to being blatantly racist, then all of a sudden the administration simply can’t do anything, despite assuring us all how badly they wish they could.

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr.

I think in this situation you have to ask though whether or not “more marketable” is code for shameful, ridiculous prejudice against Hispanic ballplayers or for fairly reasonable, understandable prejudice against people from Florida.

You’re really not tbh

Fuck it. He will have made  $45M in 4 years. Retire at 25 and hopefully not be in a wheelchair at 50.

Joe Buck Vs. Troy Aikman Vs. A Bear Breaking Into The Studio