This is what my dad wanted, honestly. I was prepared to break a few laws to at least set a boat with his ashes in it on fire, but then he donated his body to UCLA Medical instead.

When I was in the military and deploying to war zones, they would require that we wrote a will. Very few people took it very seriously. I think I had the legal officer write that “I wanted my body thrown from a helicopter over a forest in Western Washington State.” I guess since I haven’t changed it, it might still be…

I would like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered somewhere illegal. Like Stonehenge.

Turn me into some powder and shoot me to the moon.

Burried out in a forest in BC. Without a box or marker. With my wolf skull and eagle feather.

I want a Return Of The Jedi style funeral. My mortal shell is burned and returned to the earth. Than all of my friends, family and small furry creatures in my life dance and drink the night away.

Stuffed, put on the couch, my face permanently contorted into a “A risotto won the Quickfire challenge?/The referee is calling that a slash?” look of aggravated disbelief.

Hell is going to be a fucking blast! I’m pretty excited for it, tbh.

She left because she’s gotten older, and they need a new bouncing 22 year old blonde.

“I have never experienced a more positive and thoughtful atmosphere than FOX News Channel, thanks to the strong leadership of Roger Ailes, who has created the best working environment a woman and mother could ask for. His understanding, compassion, and kindness was exemplified when I shared with him that I am entering…

Yep, this smells awfully fishy.

She looked utterly exhausted anytime I saw her on this program, even with the lighting and even fuller face of makeup. I don’t think she could handle the early hours and heavier (snort) workload (snort snort) of Fox News compared to how easy she had it on The View.

And Sarah Palin’s next career path opens up.

She’s so lucky to have that be a viable option for her and her family.

Her kids are older now, no? I am loving that she won’t be on TV any longer (even though I don’t watch to begin with) but suspect her reason is BS.

Never fear! Fox News just selected a new bottle blonde white girl from the vending machine in their lobby.

And nothing of value was lost.

So at first I just read “Tragedy Strikes Elisabeth Hasselbeck” and my immediate, knee-jerk reaction makes me think I’m probably going to hell.