Mike Pence is furiously masturbating.

I mean I don’t blame them for wanting to leave the show. They were all probably cast thinking they’d be getting a chunk of country-singin’ down home all-american boy Luke, and instead they get this smarmy, punch-bait twerp.

There was a little girl at my daughter’s birthday party who told everyone she had 20 coats. I’ll believe the 4 year old who was trying to upstage the birthday girl over Trump.

This is because they all say they’re sold out when Melania calls.

I don’t think he buys what he’s selling. “They’re running out of dresses” is such a simple-minded, naive fabrication that it’s almost charming, but no I honestly believe this is KILLING Donald. He pulled the mother of all cons to win King Of The World, and no one will come to his party, because no one loves him. This…

wtf is a dress shop? when in the fuck did i happen upon 1917?

i wish when i lied that i was able to believe myself as well as drumpf does when he lies.

Why would all of the celebrities coming to DC purchase their dresses in the city? I mean, most of them probably live in places like NYC and LA; wouldn’t they purchase their dresses in their hometowns, and then bring them to DC? Some many questions....

“What about all the disabled people he DIDN’T mock?! No one ever talks about them!”

“inciting people’s worst instincts.”

Why can’t she milk it if she wants to? It’s her traumatic event and she can process it however the fuck she wants. And honestly, she really hasn’t talked much about it publically, most of the “milking” comes from our assumption that it’s going to be covered on her reality show. Literally no other person would we…

Cheers to Jay for throwing something correctly.

I’m guessing those are the exact same social media Trump supporters that keep insisting Trump & his billion-dollar cabinet are tooootally going to only look out for the little guy now, cuz they have all made themselves enough money and therefore have no interest in continuing to enrich themselves. Lol. So dumb and so…

Apparently people criticizing your candidate just makes you like and defend your candidate more. Like when your parents told you they didn’t like your 9th grade boyfriend so you responded like a 9th grader by doubling down on your looooooove for him.

A salad you get from a restaurant to go. They eat them at home ALL.THE.TIME.

be nice and we’ll remove the restraints that keep you from reading something else

This can’t be actual footage from the show, there’s no clips of them eating takeout salad

I told my sister if you really are going to secede, try to give me some warning because I want to move there first. Fuck this idiot country.

In our town, Mexicans staff most of the restaurant kitchens, and construction companies, and cleaning companies, and landscaping companies, etc. No one complains when they pay less for any of these services. Yet this is a HIGHLY conservative, military/retirement community (which skews old and white), so there’s tons…