ADJECTIVES-ONLY* VERSION:

Especially doing wedding shit while dealing with a prolonged breakup from someone she thought she’d marry, seeking comfort in her ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend. That would reduce all of us to rubble, and somehow Stassi still has the energy to sneer menacingly at most people, so trust that the Phoenix will rise…

You know you’re bad at being queen bee when your own fiancé pulls a shady ass move like making your ex friend his groomsman

Other than those bizarre ass color contacts she is wearing in confessional that make her look like a different human entirely

I’m not sure how much more of Brittany’s “Jax did a bad thing, but I’m going to let it go because it was just for the show anyway he knows he did something bad” I can take. Ain’t nobody that big of a rube.

I’m beginning to think that Andy Cohen also writes movies for lifetime where every gay guy wears lip gloss.

Stassi is to Katie now, what Katie used to be to Stassi in season 1. Katie used to be completely subservient to Stassi, now that Stassi had to beg her way back into the group she is still on the “ brown nosing tour”.

Btw, didn’t Katie and Stassi part ways b/c of a similar fight over loyalty when Katie went on Scheana’s bachelorette party trip? And wasn’t Katie incredulous that she couldn’t have her own opinions and relationships with Scheana? Katie is SO FULL OF CRAP to be doing it to someone else!

Agreed on the bleak future for Schwartzy. The way she shuts him down when he expresses any feelings is abhorrent. I hope for his sake his second wife is nicer.

The season that led up to the Tom-Kristen breakup was great. Imo, though, the last really good season was Kristen’s psycho stalker season that followed the breakup.

He does not want to be married and they both know it.

That episode/plotpoint was amazing. Especially the fact that you-know-who had the foresight to tell Jax in advance to just always assume a text from her might actually be a text from Stassi pretending to be her. Like, they knew that kind of thing would eventually happen and prepared for the moment. Mind blowing.

I really think Jax is 40+. In one of the earlier episodes, they said he was 38 or 36 and that was 4-5 years ago! I cannot understand how these people in their 30+ are still acting like they’re 21!

But that’s the genius of this show. So many of us Angelenos have had moments of this in our 20s, but we grew the eff up and got jobs and dignity. The fact that these people are mostly in their 30s and still living like this is why it’s such an interesting train wreck.

I bumped into him at Pump in person once. He’s even less intimidating when you see how small he is.

WHILE James Kennedy was saying what a scary guy Ken is.....

Ugh. Do not make me feel sorry for Scheana, you assholes.

Or as Lala called her, a blob.

I dunno. Stassi’s game has gotten seriously weak. Also really hated her excusing Katie’s violent emotional abuse of everyone but especially of her own fiance as “that’s just what girls do”.

Long-time Katie apologist here, and I have nothing. Nothing. She is the worst, and is slowly and dull-ly ruining my favorite guilty pleasure. RIP to my Queen Stassi, who is a shadow of her former self.