Disclosure: The author of this piece has been provided Gordon Beckham’s used footwear by the Chicago White Sox. His opinions are his own.

Yup, definitely the cover for the next “A Gronking to Remember” book.

“Melania knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That’s what I was talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said.

I’ve been through the worst.

Until roughly 1865, acquiring black talent was sort of the definition of being racist.

Yes. Very forward thinking and brave of Duquette to have acquired the best pitcher in the world.

This last year has been pretty goddamn insane.

Not being able to let go of the smallest thing, suggesting his opponents are mentally unstable, and conspicuous files of paper that no one gets to see? Dolan 2024!

I hope someone bodyslams Dolan from space into the core of the goddamn earth.

“we’re passionate fans!”

McCourty said he believed attending the event is a personal choice and “I can’t imagine a way I go there.”

Mixon told his Sooners teammates that he planned to go to the draft this afternoon.

The tape on this kid is amazing.

Matt Millen would like to have a word with you.

Gotta wonder what’s goink through Phil’s head.

I watch so little of it, now. I still keep tabs on my own team, but I used to spend many Sundays parked on the couch with the games on; not anymore. It’s either not as good as it used to be, too much of the same old thing, or both.

Not when my raiders are finally hot shit. Are you crazy?

I love football, but Jesus Tapdancing Christ am I really starting to hate the NFL.

That’s actually what I yell everytime I take a shit in the middle of a Best Buy.