Tardy to the party but I love you. Marry me. It's legal here in Ireland.

I think I figured out why the marriage didn’t work.

I had this horrible vision (with sound, included) of her ripping them out of her tracks. It never occurred to me that a person could have clip ins. WOW, I'm not with it.

If it's not Christian, it's OUT.... apparently.

Weirdly, that "KFC" one was more upsetting than nearly everything else, for me.

Wait, I’m a mom. Go back. Did she mean “tone” as in you set the tone of behavior and attitudes? I NEED MORE MOM-ISMS!!!!

Your subtle cries for help do not go unheard, nor un-laughed-at. Good luck.

When I see women who are so ardent in their support for Trump, I feel like they're the Republican version of EMO kids: "OMG, I'm SOOO different and off-trend. I don't do what everyone else does!!" Yes, but to your own detriment.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOW MY BOYS AND I WILL HAVE TO REVERT TO SHARPIES ON BEACH TOWELS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's always mean people out there. But there's more of us who are just as nervous about what YOU might be thinking of us.

......he's still alive, though?

Is this a thing that happens? I don't understand.

As a mother of a little boy (or just basically a decent human being), this story was horrendous. The father leaps in, desperately trying to save his son. Both of them will remember the sounds of his screams or splashes for the rest of their lives, and I imagine they will have nightmares about it, forever. It’s…

“I speak for the human race...” No.

Hello, new best friend.

Not to be rude, but does she even know who he is? I mean, I know they’re both in music, but they do very different types (I thought?), and he’s about a generation older than her.... I don't know. I feel the right course of action would be for Leto to play it off and be like, "I was drunk. It is what it is. No hate."…

Seriously, they're my absolute favourite.

My face is slowly collapsing in on itself, forming a black hole that connects us to another universe where people don't make silly assertions like this.

OMG it's an abomination. I... I so wanted to like this!

I'm doing the same thing with this that I would do if I walked in on these two ACTUALLY jerking each other off: I'm backing away slowly, closing the door, heading to the bar, and ordering another drink. Lavender Gimlet, in case anyone here wants to join.