She is going as the former First Lady, with her husband, the former President.

She was too masculine! She was too feminine! She was too aggressive and harsh! She was too frail! She was too progressive! She was too moderate! She was too incompetent! She was a diabolical mastermind! She was stiff, rigid, uptight! She was going to keel over at any moment!

I read the other day, not sure if it’s true, that she and Bill are going to attend the start of Tribute aka the Inauguration. I hope to Baby Jesus, Buddha, and Goddess Meryl that Hilary gets a standing ovation when she walks down the stairs at the Capitol. Or at least bigger cheers that Benedict Donald. Because…

“Well clearly you just don’t understand how MY voting for Third Party showed everyone what a stand up person I AM and how progressive I AM so I’m sorry if YOU can’t understand that while voting for #Shillary”

I guess this is out of style now that cosleeping is in style, but my parents just told us that bedrooms are private places, that you shouldn’t go in someone else’s without permission, and that if someone leaves the living room or the kitchen to go to theirs they probably want to be left alone. They were pretty good…

Same. I’m an atheist and this kind of warmed my heart in a way I did not expect. It was a sweet, time intensive gift for someone who actually did want a bible for Christmas.

This is the kind of gift that only a teenager would have the energy and focus to create. When I think of some of the friendship collages and love coupon books that my friends and I made back in the day, it baffles me how any of us had the time. No one does over the top like a teenager.

its god’s mix tape.

I held it together until “Boca Raton.” Let’s fall in love for real for pretend.

I can’t be the only one who thinks Drake and J Lo are kind of perfect for each other, right??

Ooh me! It all ends up under my eyes within 2 hours. I think mascara formulas are often just as personal as skincare.

This.

We should probably blame white women. Not even being sarcastic.

Fuck him. Fuck Trump. Fuck the electors. Fuck the Berniebros who protest voted. Fuck anyone who could have easily voted but actively chose not to.

You probably didn’t have dark skin about 25 years ago then. She was a trailblazer in having actual skin-matching foundations. She is actually a pretty rad and progressive businesswoman.

Sephora employee here! Bobbi Brown makes the BEEEST highlighters and mascaras. I’ve never worn her foundation but I hear it is the jam.

Ehh, I suppose it’s her prerogative. She can do what she wants to do.

And honestly, as Dan Savage pointed out, any credit for these tots having an ounce of rationality should go to the domestic work that raised them.

Old coffee and ulcer burps.

“Ted’s got cheese dribbling on to his chin, on to his shirt, on to his....where ever.”