As a former teacher: Good. Nobody like this deserves to be a teacher.

I don’t think I could keep that man out of my house either. Come to mama

Literally, let’s put a end cap on this fucking year. Someone please blow this fucking useless rock into the sun.

“It is not enough for you to be out of my house. I insist you also be miserable.”

“I want to destroy you for your own good. Why can’t you see that, you ungrateful little shit that I effectively disowned.”

And why has a “tot” watched Batman 20 times?

Also, like can Maggie fucking live? The entitlement people feel to getting a photo or autograph when they see celebrities in public is fucking crazy! This is a teachable moment for that mom to tell her kid ‘Well other people, esp celebrities don’t have to give you what you want just because you ask and really like…

That Maggie Gyllenhaal write-up is so cringy and OTT. It really is a cruel world out there — which is evidenced by the fact that sometimes your favorite actor is running late and can’t take a selfie with you!!

I’ve always thought asexual or a highly functioning sociopath. Not like the murdering or running for President without any qualifications kind, but more the “Okay a regular person would laugh here - HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” His actions/reactions when not on the screen have always seemed a bit off.

Kris Jenner was in the delivery room when Chyna gave birth, but Chyna “ignored” her.

As a parent, I don’t think I’m comfortable having someone with two first names judging me.

Because you only ever hear about the hard and/or shitty parts, and never hear about the joy. But the fact that you call parents “you breeders” and not people who have made different choices makes me think you’re probably not all that interested in hearing about the good parts, in any case.

1) Only fucking assholes use the term ‘breeder.’ Grow up.

Honestly, we do it to piss you off.

Sometimes it is a nightmare, just like any other relationship. But, you will never know a love greater. And the survival of the species depends on it, so we’re wired to do it.

Because they say funny things, they do funny things, and surprisingly once they are old enough to do things, the things they want to do are generally pretty fun - depending on what you personally like to do of course.

So you’re raising them to be Bills’ fans...

I have a 9 year old, and because I’m fucking clinically insane also a 3 year old AND a 1 year old. There is no combination that doesn’t involve some form of fighting , hitting, tackling, tripping, projectiles, screaming, teasing, or booby traps. Even the fucking one year old goes in for an eye rake at the bottom of…

Look at John D. Rockefeller over here bragging about his bottles.

Wine comes in a bottle?