Like trying to get a boner while drowning.

Still a bad movie. Why are we mad that people enjoy punishing themselves?

Cornell now Allman. No more blue skies or black hole suns. 😢

Hillary 2020.

Best article ever. It’s downhill from here, Jezebel.

When I was in school I would make this noise. The teacher could never tell who or where it was coming from. I am very proud of this. In fact, I think it is one of my greatest assets as a human being. But it is hella annoying in movie trailers.

This is the best thing on the internet rn. The inauguration of Jezebel.

The most egregious for this shittiest-of-ethos, so-called president. He won’t make it two years.

This. They love power. Their public face is always “everyone needs to love me” to make it more difficult on the one they abuse. “Everyone loves me! You’re the problem.”

I’m gonna use that quote as a movational speech to my reproductives in between love-making sessions:

Nothin’ a lil weed can’t fix.

Whoozah Gizmodo writerboy. You are! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!

CONJURE THE GROWTH! This is my new 2017 motto.

There’s a magical land called Aldi. $60/w.

Kruzah is the best horse name. Ever.

Does Cam Newton know about these!?

Money George Lucas was just mouthing words to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”

Most interesting: “nut-brown desert.”