Ditto to this. My mom was a narcissist and it still amazes me when I talk to people who went through the exact same crap I did. I’m not convinced that there isn’t a narcissistic mom cloning machine.

It's not so much that my wife doesn't realize how fucked up the situation is, she totally does (its not so different from the abused wife that knows that she's in a shitty situation) its just that theres a lot at play here. For starters, she comes from a wide extended family that really values the whole 'family above…

It’s weird. I’m estranged from my dad—established no contact years ago. Almost no one who knows that has ever said, “But he’s your dad.” Not sure what it is about mother-child, maybe dads are just seen as easier to let go, not as important? Either way. Good for you. Bad parents don’t deserve your love or attention.

Throw things! Throw ALL of the things! I think you bloody well deserve a tantrum or two. We’ll be here with alcohol and brooms to clean up later.

My father recently passed away and we were not close. I considered him a peripheral figure in my life at best. When a long-time friend offered her condolences, I thanked her but kind of brushed it off saying we weren’t very close, to which she responded “But he’s still your father”. I wanted to say, did your father…

I hate that, but she’s your mother bullshit. So, the fuck what?

Do we have the same mother?

I understand why people say that but I nor you are responsible for our parent. I don't begrudge those that have good relationships with their parents but it's hardly a fair expectation that everyone has to. Best of luck to you.

I hear you. I’ve had to enforce no- or minimal-contact with my mother due to her alcoholism/borderline/narcissism at various times. Adding insult to injury, so to speak, is that my birthday is always right around Mother’s Day. I particularly hate Mother’s Day cards- they always say “You have always inspired me and…

I've heard of that book and have been meaning to track down a copy for my wife for a while now. Honestly, at the end of the day, I think she'll eventually make the leap and cut off her mom, but she's going to have to do it in her own time and in her own way. I think overly forcing the issue would damage our…

In the grand scheme of things, my mom is pretty good. She is a compulsive spender and a hoarder and she isn’t great with affection. She suffers from depression and we can’t get her to go get help.

I’m really sorry. I’ve dealt with these issues with my dad, but even that is not the same as with your mom. Hugs to you this weekend. Do something really nice for YOU.

Sending so much sympathy - I’m right there with you. And I totally get the “but she’s your MOTHER!” you’ve heard from people. I realize it’s in part because they can’t fathom a mother who is neglectful and/or toxic, and it’s also sometimes because the mom can put up a really great front initially. It’s so maddening,…

Yay for the ‘PTSD due to long-term emotional abuse’ club!

I can’t even imagine.

Just remember that Mother’s Day was created by a woman who had a wonderful relationship with her mother... and that same woman petitioned to have to removed as a holiday because she was disgusted with the commercialization of it.

I hate that shit so hard. I've started telling people that I would not tolerate that behavior from stranger or friend, so I refuse to give her a hall pass for being a shitbag just because she was my mom.

Many hugs to you. My mother was also an alcoholic and she passed away last July. I dread Sunday because everyone is going to drive me nuts about her and overlook the fact that I want to spend the day with my son and husband and not torment myself with thoughts of her behavior.

I have a very close friend with a mother whose narcissism rivals my own mother’s (a terrifying thought). We call ours “momsters”. I’m glad other people didn’t have shit moms like we did, but the lack of a clue grates annually.

Daughter of a hoarder narcissist right here. I feel you. And with Mother’s Day, I can tell you, there is no winning.

One year, I sent her flowers to her work the Friday before the holiday. She called me, bitching that I only did it so that I “seemed like a good daughter.”

The next year, I sent a card. She called me,…