I don't know where to BEGIN with this girl, and fortunately I don't have to because you covered it. I will say that I have spent years in service industry and retail jobs; not only is selling clothes a fucking cakewalk in comparison to bartending/ serving, but most retail jobs offer commission after a certain point*.…

I've been reading these to my Mr and he also note the reference to farting.

Natalie Dormer bugs thethe ever loving shit out of me, so I had been counting down to that scene. I cackled hysterically. There's probably something wrong with me.

I DID THIS TOO! I'd run as fast as my little legs would carry me and wash my hands in the kitchen sink, claiming I'd "forgotten" in the bathroom. I think my panting gave me away. It drove my mom crazy.

I caught my stupid husband's cold when nursing him back to health, and have been grumpying around the house all day as a result. This just made me laugh out loud. So thank you for cheering me up!

My thoughts exactly! I saw it in a movie once, so it must be something that really happens, right?

I do the chewing balance thing too!

I forgot about Encare! I uses to call those things "fuck bullets." I HATED them, but had a boyfriend (who in retrospect was controlling to the point of abuse but that's another story) who insisted that they were the only thing I could use because that's what his wiener liked. I hated having to plan sex so I could put…

This is why I hit "cancel" instead of "publish" on 90% of my comments here.

Sweets and deep fry are actually WONDERFUL in bad times, as glucose and sodium chase away stress hormones. I keep a jar of "sleep dust" (sugar and salt) by my bed and sprinkle a dash onto my tongue when I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of every misstep I've ever made. It works better than some…

Hugs. I've been having a similar week full of extreme panic attacks. Today I'm finally able to do my "envision a stop sign" trick and have it work when the bad memories pop into my brain, but it's been a rough spell. I just want to Eternal Sunshine this shit out of my brain so it can't strike again! Hang in there, it…

I love the first one and think with some simple jewelry it would work for a variety of levels of fanciness! Especially with a cute clutch.

They're a pretty popular after dinner drink. They were also a big seller at a brunch place where I bartended. They're a standard item on most "hot alcoholic beverages" menus.

YES. I used to say the same shit every late teen says about dating older men ("I'm really mature, we sync better!!!"), but looking back it creeps me out that these men hooked up with child me. In retrospect it was creepy and something was off about those dudes.

I've been successful twice now. That's pretty much a record.

BCO has forced my lazy ass out of bed the last few weeks. I use it to bargain with myself: "You can't read BCO until you get up and make your coffee." So thanks for preventing me from sleeping all day!

Her nickname should be Baby. It's a rjle when naming daughters after badass women in politics.

Don't you mean "That's why I keep mine on my dogs and cats and everything wool I've ever owned (even if the bastards have never been near it)"?

I guess if I ever find myself going into labor in Alabama I'll head to the nearest PetSmart.

So would it be legal for a veterinarian to assist with a home birth? Since they aren't licensed to deliver human babies it might be okay?