Fun fact: Christopher Walken reportedly erases all punctuation in his scripts. I mention this only to say that while Pizzagateinvestigator is clearly a combative dunce, you and I can at least entertain ourselves by imagining all their comments delivered in the voice and cadence of Christopher Walken.

Never seen Sherlock, but Cumberbatch only resonates to me when he plays a shitty, two-faced coward, like in Atonement or 12 Years a Slave.

I dunno, guys. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m beginning to think that Hollywood has a woman problem.

Housewives don’t need resumes. I’m pretty sure that’s all the Duggars imagined their girls would be.

In a 2014 red carpet interview with Entertainment Tonight, Vereen said, “Pray for Bill Cosby. Pray for the ones who are scandalizing him, more so. I love the man. I support you, Bill. We’re praying for you... aren’t there more important things to talk about in this world?” pointing to hungry people and murders…

All lovely choices! And there’s also a few biblical girl names that begin with J, like Judith. It’s weird to me that so many of their boys have biblical names, and half their girls are saddled with these atrocious hodgepodges that seem like they were derived as afterthoughts or jokes.

Remember when he caped for Cosby? These things are almost never a surprise if you know the signs.

I thought that was Wilmer.

Willow Smith and Paris Jackson are also stunning in photographs.

But there are so many natural J names. Soooo many. Monstrosities like “Jinger” are so unnecessary.

He was totes cool about her farting!

I don’t think anyone would get a tattoo removed just for a wedding. I think people who’ve been maybe-sorta-kinda wanting to get a tattoo removed would seize an ideal opportunity for an ideal occasion if it presented itself.

Let’s be real. She’s salty AF that she’s from the trash side of the family, and her younger, prettier, half-black sister gets to be a princess.

What was the acronym? Mothers Always Something Something Love?

Maybe they’ll cast Leelee Sobieski and pretend it’s the same person. 

Phoebe wasn’t so much created as Ursula’s twin as she was retconned for the crossover opportunities after Kudrow was cast in the role.

This show’s only true saving grace is that it created Phoebe’s ditzy twin Ursula Buffay. Unless Kudrow intends to revive her role, there’s nothing so see here.

What’s hilarious and shameful to me is that Trump is basically Maleficent in this scenario.

You think animals are never picky eaters? You’ve got to be kidding.

We, your employers, don’t have any sense of the values we should be promoting in the workplace, but you, our employees, sure seem to be complaining a lot so we assume you do. So we’re just gonna put the onus on you to police yourselves. It seems easier. For us, we mean. This clearly sucks for you, but we’re okay with…