I’ve got some bad news for you. Eli is going to finish top 3-5 in most statistical categories and has multiple rings (and associated SB MVPs). You cannot write the history of the league and avoid that he stopped the Pats twice, including their undefeated season.

“Single payer is dead and buried until the next time Democrats control all 3 branches.”

Stick a sock in it. People hated Hillary long before they knew who Bernie Sanders was.

“Well, I’m sorry if you just can’t handle a fan of sport making sure the rules are followed, good sir.”, the dickbag says, just before calling the HOA about those infernal children selling their damned lemonade down the street.

No one said they would have. That chart is based on current ELO ratings, according to the legend.

FIFA, guys, just make an NIT Tournament for the countries that don’t get in. It’ll still have a few decent European teams, and you’re forgetting the most important element: Two tournaments means two host nations. Which means soooooooo many more bribes.

Where did Emma write that he was sexist?

I don’t know about you, but that means we should definitely bring the term manager back.

How anyone could be possibly be “influenced” from Clinton to Trump?

Cop impersonates an ice agent. And the immigrant fucks him up?

We are in the Upside Down.

Turkeys are 1. Big. 2. Possessed of a Big Beak and Sharp Claws. 3. Stupid. 4. This particular one was surrounded by broken glass.

Relevant: I once saw Mason Plumlee drop spinach dip all over his sweatpants at a bar in Portland.

I’m still wary of FiveThirtyEight probabilities.

Wilson threw a fucking haymaker after Stewart was already knocked down. That was 10 times more egregious than Stewart’s little jabs. I’d bet that Stewart was only doing that because he was pissed off about Wilson’s cheap shot.

Jezebel, ignore this.

Evra could’ve just let it go but made a meal of it though.

It’s wild and it’s telling that we treat it as a pleasant surprise when a billionaire spends his own money to improve his property in order to increase his company’s value. In a just world that would be the norm.

There is nothing in the world I’m more certain of than I am that Barry Bonds has the wrist and core strength to square up a 90+ mph fastball right now.

The only losers here are the taxpayers of Las Vegas.

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.