Since it was the Twins, we have to dredge out the time Dave Kingman hit a pop up in the HHH Metrodome and the ball disappeared through a drainage hole in the roof. Ruled a ground-rule double. (5/4/1984)

YEah, I get it, but A-Rod is a special case. Really fucking hate that guy.

So glad the Sox lost the bid for A-Rod before the 2004 season. This shit makes me laugh.

Looks like the Yankees decided to put A-Rod out to pasture. That idiom works for centaurs, as well as horses, right?

tell the whales that..

Windmills can, in fact, power a grill.

That murderous bastard would never stear you wrong.

On opposite day maybe.

Well, if my cat says fracking is safe, I guess it must be.

Hahahahaaaa!

Nice to know that Wal-Mart has always been on the wrong side of history.

Any Bernie Bro who saw Mike Pence’s speech and still plans on voting Jill Stein or writing in Bernie is a Goddamn coward.

This is why I don’t do MMA...that and my complete lack of fighting ability.

Once upon a time you had to reach out of the car and adjust the mirrors with your hand (kids these days!)

I think you need to reevaluate your friend selection abilities.

I am so in love with the fact that she had the epic steel balls it took to tell these shit peddlers exactly how to fuck off.

Sounds like what happens after I have too many chimichangas.

I can’t believe you skipped my all-time favorite: #ToiletMurder