Day drinking, night drinking, 24-hour drinking, keeping a good buzz on is the only way to survive. Maybe our livers can survive for another year, but if we’re going to 2020, then kiss those suckers goodbye!

What the fuck did I just read and enjoy in its entirety

I went to bed that night in a drunken stupor before everything was called but I knew it was almost impossible for trump to lose. My husband stayed up to watch it all and I was texting him from the bedroom asking if he going to come to bed, and then one last WHY DON’T YOU RESPECT WOMEN????

Laughing, then crying and finally day drinking are the only possible reactions to this. I hope my liver can survive until 2018 at the least.

I want a man with a smol hand
I want a lover with a queasy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a smol hand