And deer are both stupid and generally suicidal.

Yeah, trying not to hit a deer is usually what immediately precedes hitting a deer. TBF, it is more the deer chooses to hit you.

The ringing in his ears may go away someday. 

This is the type of topic we need Fancy Kristen for.

Truck Nutz is so obvious I’m surprised it wasn’t in the prompt.

United counted the baby as an extra carryon, so the mother had to cough up $50 when they landed.

This is really going to throw the Insane Clown Posse for a loop.

2nd Gear: Looks like the UK will never have self driving cars. What company with even a single lawyer on retainer would make a self driving car and carry the liability for its actions. That’s a horrible idea.

I usually sit in the ship, and sign the travelers check on the dashboard...

I did that same thing once.

Hey, three visits a year to the state prison counts as raising your kids.

Say what?  You don’t really live in deer country do you?

You are technically correct, but drawing the wrong conclusion. His odds of hitting a deer the next time he drives that stretch of road are not any lower. He is not less likely to hit a deer just because he has has one buck under his belt.

That’s not how this works. 

Actually I’m not sure if this works out. You could say that having hit a deer, he’s likely to live and drive in an environment with deer, and travel in hours of the day that deer are active, as opposed to someone who does not and won’t ever hit a deer. Second you can not use that logic to predict the future, Bayesian…

Remember that Louisiana man is the special forces of Florida man.

I fill up and then move. I use a credit card to pay and then when I am done pumping, I move to a parking spot to do anything else inside. Too me, that is just common courtesy. I understand some folks like to/half to pay inside, but to sit there and use the fueling point as a parking space is BS.

Tacked on dashboard tablets that look like a nine-year old thought it up.

Concerts around airports are just a bad idea.