um...but...the everest IS the SUV based on the Global ranger...

I was sixteen. I had a black-on-black, fully optioned, freshly waxed, cell phone-equipped SHO. I had just landed an internship with a surgeon. My hospital badge had an MD after my name (administrative mistake that I never corrected). I was hot shit, academically at least, and that gave me enough of a months-long…

Ah yes! Now that you mention it.... I recall once when I was but a young lad in early university and I had recently met my girlfriend (now wife). My dad and I were going to New York for a skiing trip and she came along. It was really, really dark that night on the way (5 hour drive) and she was tired so she laid…

We already have Milo Yannoupolis in this century, so we already understand the mindset of a self-hating hypocrite. Not why it happens exactly, but it’s not “unpresidented” (in the parlance of the Compromised Cuck of the Free World).

But...she wasn’t transgender?

After the trip, I did stay out there for about a week - mostly because it was the cheapest 1-way back home. My flight was out of LAX, so we did have one last little road trip and spent the day around Venice just doing random stuff and taking lots of photos.

You get a star just for including a link to the google maps location!

It would be interesting to tell this to a super SJW person Prius driver.

her mom was a [whatever], so she was probably too [something something] to notice.

I was 18 years old driving a 1989 Ford Bronco. It was summer at the Jersey Shore. My first serious girlfriend and I had gotten out of a movie: Forrest Gump. Driving down the road I look over at her and she has an odd, contemplative look on her face. Being a dumb 18 year old guy, I didn’t really know what to say and…

I had met a girl when I was 22 years old and we instantly fell hard for each other. The only problem was she was moving to San Diego a week or two later. So she did the only rational thing: invited me to drive with her for 4-5 days and trek across the country, stay in one-star motels and goto shitty dive bars for…

Tell us some more believable stories.

My high school GF gave me a blow job in the back of her car when her mom was driving us home from her grandfather’s farm in the country. It was a couple hour drive at night, so my GF’s head was in my lap. I thought she was asleep until she unzipped my pants. I thought she was just teasing until she started. Even then…

It’s always cute when the girl is confident like that and takes the initiative

Summer 1995

My first date with my wife. We were about to start our second year of law school, and she really didn’t want to go back. She had little to no interest in becoming a lawyer, but had succumbed to family pair. We had been friends through our first year, and I told her I’d take her on an adventure to cheer her up. I…

Second date with my long time girlfriend in my then clapped out E30. The AC didn’t run, had a sneaky issue with the idle control valve, paint was just grey primer, the tint was bubbling, tires balder than your gramps head, yet for some reason she got in that car with me. Drove to a Chinese restaurant and then out to a…

My first BJ was in a car, does that count?

If you’re not gonna talk about that time with the mayonaise and the wiffleball bat, I guess I’ll keep my mouth shut too.

Well.

I love Jalopnik and I trust y’all, but some things well, I will regret making public knowledge.