"Instead, the film spends much more time with its D’Artagnan, played by Percy Jackson star Logan Lerman as a cocky, hard-to-like asshole."

FWIW, the telephone conversation between the Doctor and the Master in "The Sound of Drums" pretty well supports this view.  They seem pretty mutually clear on the meaning of each other's nom de guerre: the "Doctor" is a person who helps people, and the "Master" is a colossal dick.

Jacobi's Master was really the absolute best thing about that entire three-episode run.  I'm sympathetic to the fact that the man is about a thousand years old in real life and therefore almost certainly neither capable of nor interested in the the rigors of Nü-Whö's production schedule (and endless running-around…

Right there with you, man.  If this sucks, we burn shit down, k?

They haven't done any better in their non-sf/action roles.  Rather the opposite, in fact.

Many, many people who are charming and cute in real life are not automatically good actors on stage or camera.

I hate to break this to you, but there are women, rather a lot of them in fact, in Antarctica: McMurdo, Pole, even the little isolated outposts.  Talk to someone who's worked there, or just watch the Herzog documentary.

Cilve Owen?  I mean, it's a different kind of grizzle, but I'm sure he'd grow out some stubble and spend some deep method-actor time getting in touch with his inner slovenly bastard if you paid him enough.

That's a pretty low bar to clear.  Possibly the lowest.

Not that there was ever any chance that this film wasn't going to be awful, but… Mary Elizabeth Winstead?  Really?  As a genius scientist?  Not taking anything away from her as an actress, but was there really no female over the age of 40 who could have even been considered for the part?

You clearly never saw "The Wrong Man".

Are you kidding?  Two seconds of Renner cocking an arrow was more interesting than everything else in that trailer combined.

I hate to break this to you, but Sarah Michelle Gellar, Eliza Dushku, Monica Baccarin and Summer Glau are all generally terrible, terrible actors.  (Evidence: basically every other thing they've all been in. Apologists for "V" and "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" can commence blowing me immediately.)

I still think it's a pity they didn't just tour with George Michael.  He was the only person at the Concert for Life that really seemed to approach Freddie's vocals and stage presence.  And, uh, maybe a regular gig might distract him from the lure of cocaine and bathroom sex. :(

How's that Creative Nomad treatin' ya?

In 20/20 hindsight, maybe farming out the Chinese Democracy review to Chuck Klosterman and letting him give it an A- was not the most defensible decision than the AV Club's editorial staff ever made.

Doctor Who ran from 1963 through 1989, as a consistently mediocre low-budget science fiction TV series, and then triumphantly returned in 2005 as a consistently mediocre low-budget science fiction TV series.  So there's that.

What this guy said.  I'd be delighted to be horribly, terribly wrong about this.  But I'm thinking I'm not going to be delighted here.

Reasonable people can disagree about neo-Futurama.  Serenity had a passable first act, a couple of decent one-liners, and a visible moment about 2/3rds of the way in where you could see Joss Whedon running out of ideas.

I'm sure there is absolutely no chance at all that this could fail to come together or be a crushing disappointment if it did.  I mean, everything Hurwitz has done since has been just as good, right?  …right?  Oh fuck, wait…