"Okay, so, uh, just so I'm clear on the story that you just told. It was about you guys getting locked in a garage stairwell for 20 or so minutes. And then a security guard came along, and the security guard let you out?"
"Well, yeah, but, I mean, it's how you tell the story that makes it good."
"How you told the…

They spent $100 million marketing this? Then why haven't I heard of it? Seriously, I don't know where the fuck that money went, but it wasn't towards creating awareness of the film.

I assumed a good 5% of the scenes were filmed with toilet cams.

Come again?

And a cement mixer full of love and some cement.

And you can forget about Asia.

<plinkett>Oh my God, what's wrong with your faaaaace?!</plinkett>

Is it even that important anymore? In our depressing new reality, you literally can become the leader of the free world without knowing how to read.

More fish for Kunta.

But I want weapons now!

"I probably know more about the catechism than the Pope, believe me."

Forget military spending. The money spent just on golf carts for the Secret Service at Mar-a-Lago could fund this show five times over.

"Although I hardly consider A Separate Peace the ninth-grade level."
"Yeah, more like preschool."
"I hate John Knowles."
"Me too."

Fucking magnets, dad. How do they work?

What's up with the translucent red cartridge? That's definitely a bootleg. No Nintendo Seal of Quality, either.

Yeah, if they don't have a badass orchestral version of "Vampire Killer," we riot.

I hope he fights King Hippo with the big blue nipples.

“For years our lives had to fit around television.”
See, that's what I always told my family and employers. Good to finally have some third-party confirmation.

Making a Merde

Get your damn hands off me!