Happy Friday, everyone!

11 AM at the Stab Factory:

[Woke StabCo Employee]: “Wait, you mean these body-shaped things I’ve been stabbing at work every day are people? They were covered with sheets until like last week, but it’s been weird stabbing them when you can see the people. God, this one just screamed! That almost makes me want to stop…

What’s fascinating is mobile gamers complaining about Super Mario Run costing too much... when I can promise you they’ve all spent WAY more than $10 on their mobile title of choice.

Me too! I was totally wrong. And I own one now.

I’ll admit, I was one of those who ragged on the Wii and WiiU, but having a console that can fill both the TV role and a handheld role as been really nice. It still feels like they’re trying for a gimmick system, but this gimmick actually works!

Hail to the king baby!

Happily admitting again that I was wrooooooong about the Switch. Congrats to Nintendo, and I’m looking forward to grabbing one.

That is a good point!

He had to wipe his ass in between.

The good part is that he is absolutely abandoning Manafort. And that is great. It is sending the message that you can’t trust Trump to bail you out, and you should cut a deal while its on the table.

Nothing better than watching him freak out, sweat bullets, and try to deflect early in the morning, really makes the covefefe taste that much better.

You know you have just delayed all these games, don’t you?

It’s as if back at Nintendo HQ the Mario team saw BOTW in development and went “hold my beer”

I absolutely adored Spelunky, but I never thought it would be a franchise that sits alongside Zelda, Mario and Fallout in my mind. For instance, I never thought that a sequel announcement would move me to tears of joy like it could for those other games.

Friendly reminder that it is improper to “slap” and “fist” a nazi. Instead, one should “punch” a nazi, for they do not deserve the pleasure of offending everyone..

Someone start a petition to get this in Evo.