On my way to a job interview. Flying Delta from San Fran to Altlanta to Tampa.

The Independent reports that Ryanair apologized for the delays and gave their passengers vouchers for refreshments.

Vouchers for refreshments?!?!

Are you using "n word" for nigger?

If you don't pay they don't repossess your bunker. Instead they add its address to a set fliers programed to be released in "urban" areas just after the apocalypse. The Venn Diagrams of "those who own bunkers" and "those who are terrified of black people" shows a great deal of overlap.

silently dying of suppressed laughter in a coffee shop. Thank you Mrs. Anderson from high school health class for allowing me to get that joke!

Sure, his hand might have grazed his opponent's crotch, but there's a vas deferens between that and an actual shot to the junk.

I'm a Jags fan. I tried to order one of the Jags sweaters. But, check this shit out: When the sweater showed up, it was just a plain black sweater. And it came with a note saying that I would receive the real thing only if 16,000 more people bought Jags sweaters. What gives?

I'm confused: Why are there no batteries on the Eagles sweater?

There's no uglier NFL sweater than Andy Reid, halfway through his fourteenth rack of ribs.

No, incredibly dense person (who is probably being this way on purpose). Leaning over them to put your bag into the overhead compartment is violating the basic personal space we all generally keep.

Having driven in Houston, I can assure you that Texas infrastructure is not all that sound. Some of the main thoroughfares (Richmond especially comes to mind) are made of cracked concrete and have grass growing in between the lanes. It's fun if you like off-roading, I guess.

well my town of houston isn't the lowest at least.... though it's pretty far down there ><

The guy in the Camery