I would like for Zinke to spend the rest of his life in prison for his astounding level of corruption. That way he can volunteer to join the prisoners that help fight wildfires and put his scary expertise to work.

When I was in sixth grade, I was singled out by the kids in my class for bullying, on the grounds that I wore Reebok sneakers matched with Nike socks. It stopped when one of the kids reached down to try and pull up my pants and see what my socks looked like, only for me to try and kick him in the face.

Yeah, that’s generally how an investigation works. Not a lawyer, but I’ve been the target of a few in my time.

Yeah perjury isn’t “Oh shit I mistakenly told you something that was wrong.”

If you feel threatened by Antifa, put down the swastika flag and tiki torch and stop promoting genocide, go home, and you’ll be fine.

But why go out of your way to reassure those voters that their reasoning wasn’t racist?

You forgot Bobby Bonilla 

If only the poor guy could find a mortgage lender.

After starting the season with wins against Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the Lions have gone from a team that had dark horse potential to one that is definitively ass.

So Ross spends over $500 million on stadium upgrades but didn’t bother to put in a drainage system in a city known for heavy rainfall (I mean the college team’s nickname that shares the same stadium is called the Hurricanes after all). Nope: it’s all about those cushy stadium seats near the 50 yard line.

If you ever find yourself catching a Retrievers game

“Fartenberry”

Why is this not top comment? Someone really shit the bed here.

Silly that he made such a big stink over this.

Sorry, didn’t mean to imply it was just me. There’ve been a lot of us calling out 45 for his words. I mean has he ever taken back any of the shit he said back in 2016 when he started this whole shitshow? I always remember him promising both sides everything - saying one thing and five minutes later contradicting…

Let’s rewind the clock to about 1980 or so. Reagan picks up the baton of an anti-government platform from Barry Goldwater, after Goldwater’s acolytes effectively assumed control of the GOP. What followed was a systematic expungement of anyone and everyone that didn’t toe the party line, ultimately leading to the…

I like pleasure spiked with pain
And music is my aeroplane
It’s my aeroplane
Songbird sweet and sour Jane
And music is my aeroplane
It’s my aeroplane
Pleasure spiked with pain
That mother fucker always spiked with pain

Some might say that CP3 is the spitting image of a jerk.

Instead of Total Health Care, why don’t we call it Old Broken Athlete Medical Assistance Care.