Yeah, shoot, I don't even remember what the aliens looked like, outside of just generic Grays that I *think* walked on all fours?

So…you would just run into him in the air a bunch of times and then die? Bummer.

Mmmm. Rings.

One of the least popular kids in my junior high school was the first to figure out how easy it was to get past the barrel. For that fleeting moment, he was a king.

Good on you. I might've gotten to the third level but never past that.

Metropolis might be the easiest in the game, honestly.

Hot take: Some Loud Thunder, which I'm assuming is the one you tossed, is better than Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's debut.

Good on you. I mean that.

(I will give a small blame that we failed to unify around an alternate candidate.)

Shrub was teenaged me's first foray into really giving a shit about politics, other than "lulz, they're all stupid and I'll just vote third party." Ivins was clear as a bell: This stuff matters. Bush may seem bumbling, but the actions were intentional.

W. was definitely off the wagon at the '08 Olympics, when he showed up red as a beet, kept stumbling to his seat, and flirted with the women's beach volleyball team. He had long since stopped giving a shit.

"Pop In G" still has a place on my running mix.

Yeah, but: That stache, though.

"You fellas been doing a bit of boozing have ya?" is something I still use to this day.

Shoot, somehow I missed this when it was first published. Allow me to nominate the very very underdog pick of "I Don't Think I'm Ever Gonna Figure It Out," which has the usually beautiful Smith finger-picking, a classically Smith wordy, plainfaced title, and probably my favorite intro in his catalogue:

"Pretty Mary K (other version)," prettiest song about a hooker ever.

For the longest time I thought there was some greater meaning behind the call-out of "Duracell Bunny," as I was only familiar with the Energizer version of the character. Thought it was an intentional mistake to get in the character's mindframe, or maybe an unintentional one, and thus a memorable little goof.

Nah, hence "pound for pound." The Shaggs didn't have the talent and money that the Weez perpetually lights on fire and craps on every moronic release. Just some girls who couldn't play making weird music. Nothing offensive there.

Pound for pound, America's Worst Band.

So it's basically the Ninja Turtles arcade game in movie form. Except without that friggin robot on the first level. DO NOT RESIST US