There is literally zero chance he does anything other than sign with the Pats, rest until the afc championship game and proceed to go batshit and sack Ben six times

I possibly haven’t made this clear previously, but I hope Donald Trump and his foul brood all die in a fire, and preferably screaming.

Who are these magical motherfuckers who WIN the arguments in their head? I always feel like an asshole and drown in a handle of vodka afterward.

It’s almost certainly rising up out of the drain, for all the reasons you describe.

Yeah? I should have kids? I’m in my mid 30s, unmarried, don’t own a home, and I’m still paying off extensive student loans. You fuckers have made it impossible for this generation to afford anything, and yet you think we should procreate so we can, what, have a new generation of struggling poors?

I think this is more common than you think. In Boston, every time the camera catches someone drinking Coke, they pan up to Reggie Lewis’ jersey hanging from the rafters.

Omigod, I cannot BELIEVE the lack of basic education around here! Listen up, sonny, and let ol’ DantleyDeathGlare school you on a thing or two about Coach Wooden and his UCLA basketball Bruins:

I don’t know how I can take 3 more years of this. I am so tired. I am weary in my bones.

“This question is for candidate Lynch. What do you plan on doing to balance the budget if elected?”
“Thanks for aksin”

You seem like someone who has good takes and is fun at parties. Please DM me your info so I can invite you to my next party.

This is definitely going down as one of my favourite moments in modern history.

The “fuck it I have a spare moment for a mini UK Update” update:

as bad as all those trespasses are, my biggest gripe with tom price is that he is essentially a mirror-world evil tim gunn, which should never be a thing.

And the least shocking aspect of that video is its ratio.

That woman somehow makes “quit” a two syllable word.

“Millennials are killing the Thank You note industry”

Little know fact: Pence is actually looking at wall paper swatches right there.

The tweets and articles won’t do this one justice, folks - you have to see the video. See how angry he was, how combative he was, like he wanted to pick a fight with the press corps, with his critics, with America. Surreal.

I will listen to no Facebook comment dumb enough to put a hyphen in Autobot.