Goff was wondering why Marvin the Martian had dreads.

+however many fingers I’m holding up

How does that work? You mean, if my kid is a terrific athlete and a pretty good student, he can go to Princeton? I thought those athletes were at the Ivies 1) as diversity candidates, 2) to absorb scholarship money.

“Did I play Thursday Night Football, Too?” By Jared Goff and Jon Ryan - via the Players’ Tribune.

“make our program great again.”

Holy fuck that is fitting.

In SC? They strap a note to dozens of basset hounds and let them loose in a trailer park. The note says “if you’ve captured this hound, then you’ve won a brand new gun rack for your ‘75 chevy” and when a couple dozen of them show up to collect, they make them sit on a jury.

I found that a very bizarre list of charges and intend to now find them in the US Code.

I bet it will be in tweet form.

We prefer to call it ‘Government Provided Heating’.

Ah damn. That sucks. The only time I ever play mobile games is when I’m commuting to and from work on the subway.

*am

yeah, I agree. While I was initially against the idea of FL paying him to advertise, when I think about it it does make sense. What if his next album he did the whole thing about the bahamas? How much would that negatively impact FL tourism. I don’t know, but having Miami constantly mentioned in hit songs about having…

I was on a Southwest flight where an attendant came on and said “Belts on, everyone - the Captain wants to try something.” Totally out of the blue, no followup. I thought it was awesome and everyone had a good laugh.

Where’s Kansas City, Michigan?

I completely disagree. FIGHT ME.

Southwest is pretty relaxed and chill. This sounds like something one of the pilots would do. Very #onbrand.

If you’re a man and are getting away with white pants and baldness, shit is working out for you.  

And if Michelle Obama had refused to live in the White House like Princess Melania is doing, the world would have exploded in 2008.

Years and years of being called Toad by bullies in school, then by that insufferable Princess Peach, her plumber boyfriend and his lanky ghost-hunting brother, Todd finally has a chance to show how his passion for track and field has paid off.